Reader matter:

I was dating my personal current boyfriend for four years and ended up being pretty happy with our union. Recently I are becoming really close to this additional guy that is a buddy. I continuously talk and consider him.

I understand the two of us share emotions for every single other, but neither of us has completely accepted to it because we understand i’m in a relationship currently which I however love and have feelings for my personal current boyfriend.

Will there be a way to help figure out who is right personally in this situation?

-Ashley (Indiana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Torn between two guys. It’s the tale of many a romantic comedy and classic novel. The heroine provides a perfectly suitable boyfriend along with treks a dashing new man only to make the woman hot, bothered and entirely confused. Be assured, you, Miss Ashley, commonly 1st woman to have a problem with this issue.

Whenever I discovered me this kind of a pickle, I would just take pen to report and write databases of pluses and minuses about each guy, filling columns and articles and, really, getting more perplexed. Because, frankly, it is impossible to contrast familiar, secure and comfortable to exciting, brand-new and harmful. They both involve some alluring powerful points.

I will reveal this: the connection that is right for you is the any you may have with yourself. Could you be being the gf you would like to wed at some point? Have you been managing yourself in a manner that holds compassion for males? Have you been teasing the fresh guy for no reason except your pride? Could you be beginning to tell white lays to your sweetheart to get the opportunity to encounter Mr-New-And-Exciting?

The connection that’s right obtainable could be the one you make right. I’d start with generating right along with your conscience. Split up, if that is what needs to happen. But try not to stick to the wall too long, or perhaps you can be pushed off and land about prickly area.

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